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I am a Christian. by shock777 I am a Christian. by shock777
I am who I am. I cannot change that. I have been dealing with so much pain, depression, and doubt this whole year. this has been the worst year of my life. The only thing holding me together is God without a doubt. this makes people not like me...this makes people leave me. this makes people judge me, make fun of me. friends come, they go...but I cannot deny my true identity. I am a child of god. I am beautiful. i have purpose. I am not useless!!

this year..my family has fallen apart. my mom and dad are getting a divorce. my suicidal sister turned to drugs and alcohol. the other sister has developed an extreme phobia. my house was robbed, My sister needs an operation...my stepdad has called me useless and fat. my sisters are against me. I have seen demons in the house we live in, one called anger the other fear. I experienced heartbreak and high school drama. I have been through so much....there is even more than that...

The only thing...after all this...that I know at the end of the day. I am clinging to god more so than ever..and it takes a lot of courage for me to post this and to declare who i am..but I am who I am. ...

It has been 15 years of emotional abuse and still...the only strength i can muster is that from God. :love: I am proud to say that too! :love: This year is so hard...I have lost so many friends..my family is so messed up..and I haven't done anything special with my life...but I know...that God has me...in his arms. Always. :heart: even though i may doubt, fail to go to church, cuss, be perverse...he is with me...and That truly is Mercy ;A;..:heart:

I love you lord...so much...don't ever leave my side...ever...
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:iconrenz5070:
renz5070 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2017  Student Artist
"Whether God is real or not, he's had a much bigger impact on the world than any of us will ever have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny and, and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed people's lifes, changed the way we act on the Earth.

Doesn't that make them kind of "real."?
They might be imaginary, but, but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around long after we're dead. So in a way, those things are more realer than any of us."
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:iconmegaxt:
MegaXT Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful and inspirational. :)
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:iconchrisiel:
chrisiel Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2016
Amen
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:iconketsamachan:
ketsamachan Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2016  Student General Artist
I hope you continue to be with Him as He continues to be you (even unto the ends of the Earth). in Jesus' name, amen. 
Pink Heart Icon 
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:iconxenomaster:
Xenomaster Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2016
I have a question. Atheist to theist, no arguments, just a friendly talk with straight answers.
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:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
just so u know this post is way old so i'm a tad different now XD; but ok lol 
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:iconxenomaster:
Xenomaster Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2016
Oh. I was going to ask about why you are/were Christian as I am not due to 1 no scientific proof and 2 all the rotten facts about the world
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:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
There's plenty of scientific proof from my standpoint. But there are things that science cannot solve-such as miracles and personal experiences people have had with God such as myself. A believer and a non-believer can see the same "evidence" and have different conclusions so it does vary on perspectives. 

The rotten facts about the world is due to sin and the devil. According to my faith, whether the events of adam and eve were literal or just metaphorical, Humans distrusted God and caused sin to be a part of their life. There is sin and evil in the world because humans have free will. We can choose what is good and right,(which are things God has ordained and set up) or we can choose to do wrong and harm others (which is the absence of God, the absence of following his laws). That's all what sin is. Sin is the absence of God. 

However, redemption came when Jesus died for us. He was perfect in every way and yet human at the same time. It cannot easily be explained, even by us believers. But that's why faith exists to fill in the gaps. I am fine with not knowing every little thing. God has his answers and his proofs, but maybe we're just not meant to see it all until the day he comes back. 

As to why I am christian, That's a long story. Honestly, anyone can claim to be christian. But I had an experience with God. I believed in him first, growing up in a christian home and all that. But My faith was pretty brittle. Even though I believed, I was struggling with church and the stories they told in the bible. Until one day I encountered the living god on my own. I was at a church revival that my parents drug me to. About age 14, about to enter high school. I didn't wanna be there because I hated church and God was kind of a big mystery to me. I also had a mean headache and whatnot. But this guy came up on stage and he claimed himself a prophet. Prophet is just a big fancy word for someone who hears God and what he says. This guy spoke to the congregation. "there's someone here who doesn't want to be here, and is hurting deep inside but God has a plan for her and she's here today for a reason. God loves you so much and he wants to heal you. if you believe that's you, raise your hand and I'm gonna pray for you right quick." 

Idk what came over me but I rose my hand, something in my heart knew he was talking directly at me. And to this day, all I can say that this felt like was as if a harpoon had hit me straight through the heart. Some unseen force just shot at me from the pulpit and I was on the ground, shaking and convulsing in laughter and fits of sobbing. Laughing and crying at the same time while this unknown presence was upon me, I was left to wonder inside my mind what exactly was happening. Sure, I believed in God, but now he was so real. I was feeling HIM. He was there, and it felt like pure joy and love drowning me in warmth and laughter. I was moved to tears because it was so emotional. I couldn't lift my head off the ground....It was so heavy but it was a pleasant feeling. There are no words or scientific proofs to show what this feels like or what it is. I can't really convince you of anything either. I don't lie about this kind of thing though, so I guess you might have to take my word for it. Nothing prepared me to have this experience. Nothing special or out of the ordinary, just...I went to a revival at church and suddenly I am feeling God upon me, pure love entering in my heart over and over again and again. My headache had disappeared, and it was quite a while before i could stand and sit back in my chair. 

While that was happening, the prophet dude was praying for others in the crowd and my stepdad received healing for his back. Others were laughing same as me, and my mother and grandmother were both flopped over in their seats sobbing their eyes out like crazy. It was a WILD night that day! And after that it was like my eyes had opened. God was never really Real to me...Sure I believed him, but I had never seen nor heard nor felt him there. It always felt like emptiness when I prayed or that no one was listening. I still have feelings like that today. But I was sure in that moment God was real and the best part yet was that he LOVED me. It was pure, sweet love. No other motives were behind that experience. God didn't ask me to pray or even to read the bible or go to church every sunday. He loved me where I was and he loved me so...passionately and so unfiltered that it was a major turning point in my life. 

Why I stayed a believer is because after that experience, I began having many more. I would have dreams and visions at night of things to come. It's not magic nor is it like a ritual or voodoo or whatever you want to think. It's just that God is supernatural, and things cannot be explained. (Belief in god doesn't mean you have to denounce science tho lol don't think that just because i believe in God doesn't mean i dont think that gravity exists or that the earth is flat lol) I would have similar experiences where I would feel that same presence with me when I prayed or when I was on my knees crying out to God. I heard not an audible voice, but a voice in my soul many a time about different things about life and about myself and others that ended up being true. I went to ministry school for two years and during that time I was attacked by demons and I would experience angels. I have been with family members who were hurt and as I prayed for them, the muscle tissue in their bodies would grow back and they could walk again without use of a cane. There are SO many supernatural things that I have experienced and witnessed with my own eyes. 

But, these things never would happen nor wouldn't have happened if I didn't believe first. Faith is blind. God doesn't tell me everything there is to know about everything nor does he warn me about every little thing. I still get to choose how I live life, and I still mess up at times. A lot of the healings and experiences I had were AFTER I made the decision in my heart to believe even though "evidence" proved otherwise. God isn't as far-fetched as some would think. Through the suffering, the pain, the mistakes of others and yourself, there is a small whisper and a tiny narrow road. The road is not as traveled and the voice is so hard to hear but if you willingly choose to listen for it, you just might hear something. 

Idk. I'm not trying to sway you a way or another, this is just my personal testimony and how I feel things are. I still struggle with my own faith because it's truly unbelievable! I understand where you're coming from, believe Me!! :) 
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:iconxenomaster:
Xenomaster Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2016
Well, I was never indoctrinated all that much. The most was that I was told to pray and sing hymns, but I had no idea what was going on.

I think what acted as a shield (for lack of a better term) was that I was into Greek Mythology and took the whole "divinity" idea as just as equal in reliability.

Time went on, I hear stupid arguments and assumptions made by one side that I moved closer to the other. I grew both ethically and logically to the point where I found that God is not a good being and it disgusted me that so many people would worship a being who is the ultimate hypocrite.

I'm not trying to sway you either (or am I? *Dun dun DUN~*), all I am saying is what made me an atheist or just solidified that. You are one of two respectable people that are Christian that I found online so I won't go full on debate mode. Trust me, you don't want to wake that sleeping giant. I have that part of me distracted at the moment. *looks over to another me standing in the corner with a creepy-ass smile* You alright, buddy?
Other me: *creepily smiles* If you remove a fly's wings and legs, is it called a scoot?
Man, that part of me is creepy!
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:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ok lol? 
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:iconxenomaster:
Xenomaster Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2016
I'm weird
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:iconstarwide12:
Starwide12 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2016
Thank you this  means a lot to me.
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:iconhighland-storm:
Highland-Storm Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2015
YOU GO GIRL!
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:iconthegreyinkwell:
TheGreyInkwell Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I've had a lot of family problems this year too- my parents are debating divorce and it's so hard for me to be in the room with my dad anymore- my sister is having problems and I'm caught between two friends right now and whichever side I take I'm loosing one. Last summer I went through wondering about my faith and to this day I still have doubts about weather I'm really saved or not. But I found your art around last school year and it was just what I needed. Especially what you post under the art- it was great to know I wasn't the only person who doubts. So your art is really special to me and I am grateful I was allowed to find it. :)
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:iconminnas1:
minnas1 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Amen!
Preach it sista! God is my strength!
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:iconmetalhead-777:
Metalhead-777 Featured By Owner Edited Mar 13, 2015  Student Digital Artist
So when they cast you down as intolerant filth,
Stand firm, never bow to the lies


"Relentless Intolerance" - Demon Hunter
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:iconfirenationphoenix:
FireNationPhoenix Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yes, DON'T LET THE LEFT GET YOU!
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:iconmrm64:
mrm64 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Say it sista!! :love:
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:iconzeppiedragon555:
ZeppieDragon555 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Amen!!! Lol 
Sherlock Smile 
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:iconautoman217:
Automan217 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
AMEN! God bless you, Child of God! :D
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:iconlotusdragonof5000:
LotusDragonof5000 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014
YES!
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:iconwolfgirl4565:
wolfgirl4565 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014
that was really beautiful and just know that you just have to move on in life so just try to focus on the good parts of your life and move forward with it :)
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:iconmrnukedduck:
MrNukedDuck Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Amen to that, sister! :happybounce: 
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:iconnightcrestcomics:
NightCrestComics Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
So am I!
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:iconsinornis:
Sinornis Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013
Jesus, servatis a periculum, servatis a maleficum.

Jesus, save us from danger, save us from evil.
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:iconripper9492:
ripper9492 Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
AMEN!! :iconiloveitplz:
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:iconalcasar-reich:
alcasar-reich Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Student General Artist
per secula seculorum
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:iconkeybladeninja1:
keybladeninja1 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
you tell em girl amen AND HALLELUJAH !!
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:iconsebastianssire:
SebastiansSire Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow this is powerful stuff here my friend and being a Christian myself I pray that the lord blesses you forward and the lord leads you to many paths. :)
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:icondarkarmeddragon:
DarkArmedDragon Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
Amen!
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:iconkaitobunny88:
kaitobunny88 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconhiphiphoorayplz:
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:iconrunway01:
Runway01 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Student Writer
AMEN SISTAH!!!!
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:iconvelocityofsand:
VelocityOfSand Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
God Bless you :D
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:icontekitomadachi:
tekitomadachi Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amen Sister on the pic!! :w00t: God is with us no matter what we go through; be it the really rough roller coasters or the peaceful stillness in the nighttime, He will always be there to pick us up when we least expect it. :)
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:iconplumbg:
plumbg Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012
OMGOSH!!! This is...argh, i never have good words. I love the message. :'D Your other Christian stuff is really touching too. I'm really sorry about all the stuff going on in your life. I am always astounded by God's mercy. We sin, but he forgives. We fall, he picks us up. We hunger, and he provides.

And your chibi is so KAWAII!!!
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:iconlinked-memories:
Linked-Memories Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012   Digital Artist
About the last part of your description: He will never leave your side, the only one who can leave is you
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:iconargosaxthechaos:
argosaxthechaos Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012
I dont know what you are trying to prove because all of this is really leaking out vanity.
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:iconshadowrose17:
ShadowRose17 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Love this picture. ^^ Wonderful job! Glad to hear even with all you've been through you're standing firm. =3
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:iconfullmetalsoul13:
FullMetalSoul13 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012
Yes! :highfive:
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:iconpicklemind:
Picklemind Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow! :D I love the picture, and the testimony is really moving. Hang in there, I'm so glad that you turn to God, even in the midst of suffering ^^
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:iconjclaymore:
Jclaymore Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow... *is speechless* Beautiful picture, and a beautiful testimony.
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:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank u ;v; the testimony is wayyyy more detailed than what I wrote...but it's pretty intense what all has happened. XD this year too has been difficult. lots of things go wrong, but i got into a new church and got more into the lord...and now i am moving to pursue what god has for me! :') God's got me..he has so much favor on my shoulders...he has so much mercy and i just..cant thank him enough
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:iconjclaymore:
Jclaymore Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds like the beginning of the journey, I feel like I just started my journey too. Things look like they're about to get interesting in your life, so hang on to Jesus, and enjoy the ride!
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:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
its very difficult but i am and have been on this long ride called life for a while now! its only gonna get tougher but i will be equipped to handle it
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:iconjclaymore:
Jclaymore Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
More than that! He equips us to thrive! He is our source and our salvation, so where is the the fear of death or starvation? God is our Comforter, and knows what we need. We know that we can thrive in this wiorld and not merely survive.
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:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hes my everything. hes given me hope strength love and friendship. he has been a father and a teacher more than my fathers have been to me...he has given me a future and a dream..confidence, beauty...love....its just..tooo much to express
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:iconjclaymore:
Jclaymore Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
that is such a beautiful sentiment! I don't know any girls around my area that think like that.
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:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank u!! ;v; but he has..he calms my rage and he has given me hope. i quite literally almost died several times emotionally and physically and each time he has pulled me out. id be a fool not to notice that gods hands were a part of my life
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(1 Reply)
:icongaaralovesme3:
Gaaralovesme3 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012  Student Interface Designer
): I know how you feel, only I didn't know God at the time. My parents divorced when I was 8 and I had a hard time with it. I'm shy, but it made me learn to keep my feelings shut inside of me and not be able to be ME with other people. I kept away from my family and almost resented both my parents for what they put me through. But then My father and his girlfriend started having us-my younger brother and I- go to church, and when I was 12 I got saved. Ever since my salvation, I have known that God works in mysterious ways, and there was good that came out of all my heartache over the divorce; I got to know God! That is why my life verse it Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." I hope you can find the good in even the hard times you're going through. :')
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:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
amen! what a great testimony! yes that verse is amazing. it's one of those that i always recite :) I'm glad that heartache doesn't last and that God always prevails! He is number one over ALL circumstances! :) :heart: God bless you!
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