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When God speaks...

Journal Entry: Wed Jan 30, 2013, 5:53 PM



A few days ago this week, I had the strangest urge to go to the Sundial bridge. The Sundial bridge in Redding, a few minutes away from my home.

I had no reason to go, except this random gut feeling. So I went...and as I was there, something told me to go into the gardens they have there, having never gone there before. But I didn't end up going, and so I went home and I was bummed that nothing significant had happened.

Over the past few days I have been exceptionally depressed about my husband, and the thought of him. Lately God has told me to give up Shipping and forget about cute romance drawings and things of that nature; because I am convinced he wants me to live in reality instead of fantasy. :') Which, praise the Lord for that! but at the same time, I have been struggling and have felt very lonely and doubtful. I have cried for the past several days, struggling with, "Should I even think about romance? Is this selfish? I should be focused more on God instead of my husband who will not even come close to loving me as much as Christ can.." But I have been so harsh and legalistic towards myself...So I was constantly in a battle...

Today, I woke up this morning, and I took a shower. And lately, God has been speaking to me through the imagery of Water. I took a shower and was doing my shower prayers XD and I got out...I usually listen to air1 on my iphone while getting dressed but this morning I had forgotten it in my room, and something tells me "Go get your phone. And Just watch-the song that will be playing is the new song "Hold me Now" by RED." And so I'm thinking, "Yeah RIGHHHHTTT."

But sure enough, and praise Jesus, The song was indeed HOLD ME NOW!!! ;_; and right when I listened to it, the verse said, "I'll return to the place where the water covers over everything." AND as if that coincidence wasn't enough, The verse of the day on my air1 app said,

"But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life." -John 4:14

;_; Already the day started off amazingly.

And for some reason, I looked at my shirt I had picked out for the day, and I read the bible verse on it, something I almost never do. The shirt says, "Jesus heals broken hearts." The bible verse is psalms 147:3, "He heals the broken hearted, and binds up their wounds."

I read it, memorized it, and got ready for school. As school started, Jill, the pastor's wife, announced to us we were going to do something different today.

she was going to read PSALMS 147-148 and we were going to the SUNDIAL BRIDGE to the GARDENS to sit with the Lord and learn how God can speak to us even through Nature.

Already my mind was BLOWN. Little coincidences after another after another kept adding up as a smile made its way across my face. ♥

We get to the bridge and into the gardens, an area I had never gone into before, and I really felt the Lord was guiding my steps to sit in a certain spot. I walked past many mini fountains too that were beautiful, but then I saw it. A Huge fountain sculpture with lovely ponds and running water around it.


And there was a fountain there in the middle, that reminded me of what happened earlier this morning and how God used a christian song to realize that without his living water in my life, I am not living the life He intends for me! It was just such an awesome time with God.


God wanted me to go to the big fountain instead of the little fountains because he wants to pour out much blessing in my life. ♥ Thank you, Lord!

As if this wasn't enough, He lead me to go out walking further, and as I walked, I saw a lovely couple-a pregnant woman and her man, caressing her bulging baby bump, and kissing her softly on the bench in the sunlight in the midst of beautful flowers. ;_;

I felt such pain come into my heart and I began to cry. "Lord, is this wrong for me to want that?! I know that I want to have you first in my life..and I know I should be content with how I am now...but I just keep wanting and wanting as if you're not good enough..."

As I walked and cried, I entered a type of construction-ish area full of barren trees and stagnant pools of water.



It feels like, symbolically, this is where I am at in life. I am in a season of growth and things look dim for now, but God will lead me into greener gardens one day. ♥

As I cried from seeing the couple, I questioned God, "Why did you show this to me?!" and I felt like God said, "Because it is in your future."

I weeped even more, and I walked further down this dusty path alone and by the barren trees and stagnant pools. I then said to myself, "I guess I think it's selfish to want a husband and a romantic life...But God I don't think that that's true." And right then, two  mallard ducks-a female and a male, swam out in front of me in a pool to my right.

It was significant because They were together-a male and a female. And I heard the Lord say, "You desire something so natural-I created all the animals and birds in the earth to have a partner." And I wept even harder...because God was blowing my mind! ;A; <3

I felt a bit childish, but I asked God for one more sign that this all was from him. Months ago, when I moved up here to Redding in September, I had a dream of a baby deer walking up to me, and I heard a voice say, "this is God's way of showing you he cares about you." Later on that same day, I had been on a walk and I remembered the dream, and just then a deer ran across my path. ♥ So me and deers have this symbolic meaning attributed to God's caring stare and hand in my life.

I walked up a hill and thought about the symbol of a deer, and just as I took a step, I uttered the words, "NO WAY." And to my amazement, there was a deer print. In the mud. under my foot.


;_; Jesus....My Jesus. He is my comforter, my guidance and my hope. He gives me peace that things are going to be alright..and that he cares about the little things. ♥

From hearing my favorite song, He showed me a biblical truth he wants me to learn. God used even my SHIRT to match with the scripture reading in CLASS today, and He lead me to a fountain to further that truth about him being living water. Then he showed me the couple, which then led to the two ducks, and then finally, the deer print in the mud. ;_;

Our God is a good God and he constantly speaks to us through many mediums. Through songs, through shirts, through his word, through other people, and through nature. ♥ I encourage you today to be intentional about seeking God and noticing that EVERYTHING can be a symbol to his great love, even in a barren stagnant land and even in dry seasons and times of trial and testing. Our God is good and forever faithful Amen Amen!!!

-alex- 1/30/13

  • Mood: Wow!
  • Listening to: Hold me Now by RED
  • Reading: My Bible :)
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: dinner soon!
  • Drinking: water
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:iconanjelica101:
Anjelica101 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Student Digital Artist
This was truly inspiring.

It reminded me of how God can be subtle with His messages when he wants to lead you into a place that's best for you. I've been going through some trails and tribulations myself the last few months and the enemy's been trying to convince me that I cant't make it. Been trying to convince me that all of what I'm living for in life is just complete rubbish and that I should basically forget where all these great miracles in life have come from. It's been a struggle, but after reading this, I had some flashbacks of things like, for instance, when my family and I were in even worse situations and we made it through that. I've even had unimaginable dreams that I had when I was a silly little seven year old come true years later in life, and I know that it was without the shout of a doubt by God's grace that they only came true.

Thank you dear. In reading this you help me realize a little more that it might not always be what we want when we want it, but that if we have faith and a good ear for Him, that He'll favor us when the time comes.

I prey you may lead a happy future too dear ~u~
Take care~
Reply
:icontekitomadachi:
tekitomadachi Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:wow: I am very happy for you Shock!!! :glomp: It's so amazing on how God takes care of us in more ways than one... He's helping my family and the person close to me fight cancer (who will be going through radiation soon but she is done with chemo, THANK YOU JESUS!! :w00t: ) and I know that when the time is right he will provide for me my beloved sooner or later. :D Thank you for sharing this on DA; it has really helped!! :hug:
Reply
:iconfeedingfrenzy91:
Feedingfrenzy91 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
That's Wonderful God can use the simplist of things to reach out to us and even though they may seem insignificant by themselves when put together they turn into something amazing. Don't feel lonely God is with you and he will lead you where He wants you to go (as He already has).

P.S. how's your sister
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
her surgery was postponed til feb 11...-_- so we are all kinda upset about it
Reply
:iconfeedingfrenzy91:
Feedingfrenzy91 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
I'm still praying for her
Reply
:iconshikamaru9419:
Shikamaru9419 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hey Alex, I wanted to thank you for sharing this with us. I am going through something similar in my own walk with God. I pray that you will continue to be able to hear God speaking to you in these moments. Thanks again for bringing this into my life today.

- Jacob
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome! :)
Reply
:icondarkchocaholic:
DarkChocaholic Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
I just don't know how that could happen... I am actually kind of confused. I have asked God for signs and he shows me nothing.
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be answered to you. Keep seeking. ever had a random coincidence happen? That could be God. He speaks in many ways, the point is-are you looking?
Reply
:icondarkchocaholic:
DarkChocaholic Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
I don't know at this point. I mean I still go to church and stuff but I am not feeling it anymore.
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ah. well seek his face and ask for his holy spirit. seems like u need an encounter with his presence :)
Reply
:icondarkchocaholic:
DarkChocaholic Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
I wish. It's not likely to happen for me. I guess it happens for good people like you.
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
lol if u only knew..i am NOT a good person. lol I am a wounded healer, I am just saved by amazing grace. if only you all knew the sins I have on me.
Reply
:icondarkchocaholic:
DarkChocaholic Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Oh. Well I guess you are right. Everyone sins, but we can't be saved by anyone but Jesus. It's just hard for me sometimes, but thanks for replying to me.
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
it's hard for everyone at times-in fact, their whole lives ;v; <3 keep heart! know that you are God's and he is yours and that you can always call on him in the midst of life's troubles.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbbyshytempa:
bbyshytempa Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
This is amazing! I'm Christian as well but sometimes I feel am I living the right way? your blessed to have signs like that! God Bless U! xx
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you'll know by reading his word :)
Reply
:iconwhiterose810:
WhiteRose810 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Amazing! :)
my mind = :iconmindblowingplz: :o
Reply
:iconprince-of-pop:
Prince-of-Pop Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow. Lovely. My friend would love to hear this.
Reply
:iconmemowkitty:
memowkitty Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
lol
Reply
:iconflorecitadeldesierto:
FlorecitaDelDesierto Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Itīs beautiful isnīt it? Thatīs one of the things I love from God most. How He can show us things in so many beautiful and strange ways :)
Reply
:iconxxgoldenninjaxx:
xXGoldenNinjaXx Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist
That is an amazing story
Reply
:iconchelsosaurus:
chelsosaurus Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow....that is such an amazing experience! I love the bible story about the living water :) We just finished studying it in my religious studies class during school! I love how when you look around, everything bears witness of Christ, and his hand in all things. One day I hope to have such great faith as you have. One of my favorite scriptures is in Romans 5:3-5.

"3. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience. 4. And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5. And hope maketh not ashamed: because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i love that verse <3
Reply
:iconchelsosaurus:
chelsosaurus Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I do too. My favorite part of it is "knowing that tribulation worketh patience" because it gives me peace that trials and hard times are for the better.
Reply
:iconsteekira:
SteeKira Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
I remember feeling this way...this is probably going to be a very growing path in your life. You may change and think things you never imagined you thought you'd believe before. It scared me when some of my beliefs changed, but I felt comfort in knowing that God was with me through it all. I came to a point in my life where I realized I could live my whole life being single and still be happy with the love God already blessed me with.
And guess what....once I came to that point I actually did get together with my best friend. And it wasn't for the wrong reasons either (though we weren't perfect)...
I learned that things don't always happen conventionally or even traditionally. It's not cut, dry, copy, and paste. Humans are so fickle, and only God is perfect. Sometimes things will go against how I imagine them to be, and go in an even BETTER direction. I fell for a guy I didn't expect to fall for, in a way I didn't expect. And I can honestly say that I'm really REALLY happy. All cause I listened to God when He told me to "be patient" and to "give him the benefit of the doubt". I'm so glad I did. :)
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
that;s my goal-to be content no matter the situation ;_; any tips?
Reply
:iconsteekira:
SteeKira Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Student General Artist
I have a few sermons all about God's love, and a few books I could reccomend. Would you like that?
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hmmm..if u like. my continued prayer is "God I want your plan A and not a plan B." and it has been helping a lot!
Reply
:iconsteekira:
SteeKira Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Student General Artist
That's good it's helping. :) You know who Vic Mignogna is?
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
no
Reply
:iconsteekira:
SteeKira Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Student General Artist
Ever heard of Fullmetal Alchemist? Or Ouran Highschool Host Club?
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I hate both of those animes.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcrzyfunnydraw:
CrzyFunnyDraw Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Aye! this is Truly Amazing, ive actually Been having Problems :{ but this helped a bit
Reply
:iconjessirenee:
JessiRenee Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
hey, that's awesome when God just shows up like that! He loves us soo much! <3 That's amazing, Alex :3 Thanks for sharing! I am so encouraged right now. :D
Reply
:iconrisa-chan22:
Risa-chan22 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
wow :D
Reply
:iconsasunaruhina1:
SasuNaruHina1 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
God is good, truly!
It's people with a strong faith like you that give me hope in this world!<3
Reply
:iconremuko:
remuko Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Glad you had a nice day and realized that wanting to be loved isnt a bad thing :)
Reply
:iconraiyenn:
Raiyenn Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Wow...
Reply
:iconzerg620:
Zerg620 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thank you for writing this... I've been struggling with this same thing.

It was all great, but the part that really stuck out was:

"It was significant because They were together-a male and a female. And I heard the Lord say, "You desire something so natural-I created all the animals and birds in the earth to have a partner." And I wept even harder...because God was blowing my mind! ;A; <3"

Thanks again. I hope you don't mind me sharing your story in my journal.
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
;v; yw
Reply
:iconfelgrandknight34:
FelgrandKnight34 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Wow, I wish something like this could happen in my life, but I am happy that it happened with you, shocky :)
Reply
:iconponchofirewalker01:
PonchoFirewalker01 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Oh my goodness....
What a . . . what a . . . . wow.
Man, I am definitely jealous of your deal.

Though I had a couple deals that might be close:
1) A couple nights ago, I got word from my mother and my stepdad that due to the drought, they had to sell their cattle and the market for hay and feed is falling like crazy. Knowing how bad the drought is for my folks, my real father, my boss, and everyone else, I definitely know the ordeal. So I prayed for moisture a couple times and as deep as I could do it. Then, next morning, SNOW, ALL OVER COLORADO!!! We're getting somewhat of moisture, now we just need a bit more.

2) At the same night I was praying for moisture, I'd remembered a story a elder in church talked about happening to him once. He was shoeing horses for someone and when he started singing a Church song while doing it, the client didn't like it (atheist, you know?). They had a debate and then Mike (the elder) told her that he can ask the Lord to manifest himself within a bucket of water. The client thought it was crazy, but took the challenge (or is that a wrong word to use?). So, Mike prayed that the Lord would manifest himself within the bucket. While he was doing this, the client tried to look within the bucket, but just keep backing up instead. After a while, Mike stops, looks at the client, and says that he proved that God was real. The client denied this, but Mike said if God wasn't real and that the client knew it, she would've looked in the bucket, but she was too scared to look. What do ya think?

*sigh* You are lucky that the Lord is revealing all this to ya. I mean, I am in a bit of the same deal as you. I wonder about me with my future wife. But in my case, I know that I'm not ready to meet her. But now, I doubt that I am ever gonna be ready for her, whether as a husband or even a boyfriend. I just doubt myself A LOT. And I wish He can answer a whole list of other questions of mine, like what does He want me to do? Does He want me to still go into animals or not? What should I do after college? Does he want to write my book ideas? etc. etc. I just wish I knew....
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
first of all I just wanna say that the first thing that happened most likely is a god-wink (a time when god lets u know he hears u and is thinking about u.) And you should be so happy that snow came! that's amazing! :)

second, that story is interesting. And I like it :D

third, You need to know that God doesn't "Work" for certain people. He "works" for us ALL. and he does it in different ways and timings to everyone. keep seeking him in all ways and in everything, and you will find.
Reply
:iconponchofirewalker01:
PonchoFirewalker01 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
A God-wink? Never heard of that one before.
That does make me smile :)
Yeah, I am happy, but there is more snow needed to help my friends and family.

Yeah, I knew you would. I tried something like to myself (only to a mirror) and I did that, I tried to go the mirror, but I couldn't (for like half an hour). I either get too scared or just fall to my knees, face down.

Well, I just wish He can show me supernatural things and whatnot like he does to you.
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
don't wish because it's not like im more important than u or anyone else....Seek an keep on seeking! IT says from Jesus himself, whoever asks for the holyspirit will receive it!
Reply
:iconponchofirewalker01:
PonchoFirewalker01 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
Okay, I will, can you give tips on how to seek?
Thank you, sister in Christ :hug:
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
what does the bible say? Approach God in prayer. Ask him to show you things. Be specific when you pray, ask for something and have faith you will receive it. Keep your heart open, as you walk around, look at birds and nature and the skies and worship God that he created everything! Talk to him constantly in your mind and just listen for his still small voice. They can come through songs, other people, random coincidences, random thoughts, and even prophetic words.

Ask for the holy spirit to come upon you, and keep on asking. don't give up if you don't feel anything or get anything. sometimes the ways god speaks are not the ways we would like or even think of. So just keep asking and asking and asking.

Worship him with more than just your voice, worship him with dancing and by imagining things. Practice safe place prayer-Ask the holy spirit to take control of your imagination and to show you things. (I have experienced GREAT inner healing when doing this. God showed me myself as a 3 yr old and him putting me in a princess outfit and a tiara and calling me his princess. Later, My teacher prayed over me and told me that she said god was showing her an image of me as a princess with a crown on my head. The SAME EXACT THING I HAD SEEN IN MY MIND a few minutes before that!!!!)

Spend time reading the word and before you read the word, ask, "holy spirit what do you want me to learn about you today? what can I do in life that brings me closer to you?"

only have to ask and it will be made known to you :)
Reply
:iconponchofirewalker01:
PonchoFirewalker01 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
How I can tell that the small voice is His or mine?
I don't ask much 'cause I'm afraid that I might be selfish and might be praying for bothersome things or something like that. I remember that there was a verse that talked about that.

:nod:

Ah, I see.
A 3 year old you in a princess outfit? I'm stuck between saying "D'awwww" and giggling a little bit :D

Okay.
Reply
:iconshock777:
shock777 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"I don't ask much 'cause I'm afraid that I might be selfish and might be praying for bothersome things or something like that" REPENT OF THAT LIE. that's satan talking! >:C

You can tell by asking God for validation of that word. Also if it matches up with God's word, you can know that it most likely is him. he speaks nothing but encouragement, hope and peace.

You have to be in his word daily to know more about him. most of how I know i hear from god comes from knowing who he IS first of all and what he's like. sadly, we believe lies like the one you just told me...Because most churches don't have an accurate picture of God in their minds. Read his word and remember all that he is done and what he is like.
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