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January 25
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Here for You by shock777 Here for You by shock777
:star: Speedpaint version here:  www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsA8UK… :star:

My good friend :iconinuchaan: drew this for me. I traced the sketch and added color. It's a picture of herself, me, and Jesus.

My grandmother, the closest person to me in this world, is in the process of transitioning from this world into the next. She is my everything. The one who raised me and has provided for me my whole life. She was closer to me than my mother and father were. :'( Heaven celebrates a new soul coming home, meanwhile the ones left behind will arrive later to the party.

Jesus has helped me so much through this...He has prepared me for her death by giving me dreams about it a week before I got the news. I already knew in my spirit it was coming. Jesus reminded me that he too, knew how I felt and what I was going through. He showed me the time that Lazarus died. Even though Jesus knew he would resurrect Lazarus, he still sobbed and mourned with Lazarus's sister Mary. Grief is a part of life and death. Mourn your losses, for those who mourn are comforted by the Lord.

This is by far the toughest thing I have ever experienced. Though I knew my grandma was going to go home someday, nothing could prepare anyone for this kind of heartache. :( But I am not without hope. My Grandma knows where she is going, and is going gracefully. She doesn't have much pain in her body, despite the cancer causing a blockage in her stomach. God has been so merciful to us. He has helped us all each step of the way.

My grandma is 84 years old and has lived a long, healthy life. She has endured many hardships, but has always loved unconditionally and has always given us everything with her abundant generosity. I will miss her so so so so much. :'(

As I go throught this season of grief, I have been crying non-stop for about a week now. As of tonight (1/23/14), She has not yet passed. I still am grieving the loss. I pray that she goes peacefully, and doesn't have to deal with her organs in her body shutting down. This is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life...

So, about this picture. :iconinuchaan: drew it for me because I had told her about my struggles. This picture means a whole lot to me. Because when we go through seasons of darkness and grief, we are supported by community and by the Lord. I am so grateful to have friends at school and family members as well as great online friends like Sophie to help me get through this time.

If you could keep me in your prayers, that would be so helpful and greatly appreciated. The Lord is doing a work in me, and he will strengthen me when the time comes for my grandma's funeral. My grandma is going to live on in my memory and in my heart. I know God will hold me up with the angels and with his unfailing love.

Thank you all ;_; :heart: 
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:iconautoman217:
Automan217 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"If I fall will you hold on to me?
Through it all promise you won't lose me
These days, hope is hard to come by
And tonight I don't know how I can survive

You give me faith to believe there's away
To put the past finally behind me
And hope to make it through another night

You give me strength during these dark times
When I'm blind you are my light
When faith is Hard to Find
And when I fall, will you still hold on?"
-Hard to Find by Skillet

Grace and Peace to you from our Father :)


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:iconami-ro:
Ami-Ro Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
very adorable!! c: ~ <3
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:iconfcu777:
FCU777 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014  Student Artist
Oh and you're in my prayers :pray:
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:iconfcu777:
FCU777 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014  Student Artist
KAWAII, A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, AND TRUE!!!!!!!Cheerleading squad by CookiemagiK
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:icontekitomadachi:
tekitomadachi Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'll keep you in my prayers, shock. :hug:
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:iconrapunzelskywalker:
RapunzelSkywalker Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014   Traditional Artist
Oh dear, i'm so sorry about your grandma... at least she knows where she's going. ^^ You two will meet again, I know you will! it's so sweet that :iconinochaan: drew this to cheer you up, i'm sure it did hm? it's always nice to have friends that care about you and want to make you feel better. And it's also nice to have Jesus comforting you too! He must have helped you through a lot, Jesus loves you and he'll never leave you alone. But anyway... you will be in my prayers, I'll promise you that. God bless you. Hug 
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:iconrapunzelskywalker:
RapunzelSkywalker Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014   Traditional Artist
:iconinuchaan: I mean, sorry. Oops! 
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:iconmrnukedduck:
MrNukedDuck Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Student General Artist
God bless you all in this time of grieving. Take comfort in knowing that he is with you! Amen. Heart 
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:iconfonmatter:
Fonmatter Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sorry about that.
I'll pray for you.
I hope you feel better, even though I don't know you well. :)
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:iconponchofirewalker01:
PonchoFirewalker01 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014
:cry: I'm so sorry about that :hug:
I know the feeling.  Sometime last year, I also had a grandma (not by blood, by marriage, but I loved her all the same and vice versa) who was suffering and dying.  As I knew that she was almost at the end of her life, I actually prayed that her pain should end (even though I felt conflicted that I should pray for such a thing, praying for someone to pass away).  But as I saw and hear her not feeling better, I've prayed that her misery shall end.  I didn't see her in her last weeks of life (I've felt and still feel extremely guilty for that, even though my parents tell me that it would be better that way so that I would remember her when she was healthy and happy).  But what my parents tell me is that when I'd texted them (they were visiting her in her last day) and tell them to say hi to Grandma for my sister and I; they told me that at the mere mention of my name, she just smiled and said "Special".

Even to this day, that moment always touches me right at my heart and warms it.  At that, I took GREAT comfort that she is no longer suffering and she is in a happier place.  So, I do know how you're feeling right now, I honestly do.  But do not threat, for that even though it is taking a while, she is destined to be the greatest place in all of existence and will be happy in the end.  Take great comfort in that, sister, take great comfort in that :hug:
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